happy but I'm in pain.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I can smell something that is not right. but what is it ? I can't tell it myself. this evening I went to Jusco to meet Fisya and Farah. I know that Fisya was in her break time. so , I went there to see her and hoping that Farah would like to join us too. but she said that she's not feeling well and need to take a nap for a while. I don't want to bother her. so , I went off with Fisya. after we had our so-called lunch , Fisya went back to her place and I go to Farah's place and see her. she looks pale. my guess was right. she's still stuck with her  Mr.A. I can see her tears. she's trying to hide it though. Farah , aku daa kenal kau lama. I know that you're hurt and you can't get over him. :( kenapa benda nie selalu jadi dekat kitorang semua ? I mean when one of us is happy , the others mesti sedih or they were in trouble or something. I can't take this. it's like a bad curse to our friendship. what happened actually ? we can live without guys because we are each other's strength. sorang sedih , semua ada sekali and we share the sadness together. bila sorang happy , yang lain will feel the happiness and we'll cheer to each other. but kenapa bila sedih mesti because of a guy ? penting sangat ke diorang nie ? Farah , I don't know whether you'll read this post or not. just wanna let you know that apa pon yang akan terjadi or daa terjadi kat kau , kitorang sentiasa dengan kau. aku sayang kau doe. daa sebelas tahun aku kenal kau. bila kau menangis trust me , aku pon rasa sedih jugak. aku suka dengar kau gelak. tengok 'blur' kau and cerita bangang kau. everything that is not perfect about you are perfect to me. so do , Chiko , Fisya , Didie , Opie , Nisa and Tiqa. you girls are my life ! my strength ! YOU GIRLS ARE EVERYTHING TO ME ! ILOVEYOUALL. I'm happy today actually but at the same time I'm in pain bila tengok kawan2 aku sakit. boys , if you really love us girls , please don't break our heart. it's fragile. please.

lasagna ;)

haha. tak ikot cakap sifu. pakai taram je latak white sauce kat mana. it's creamy and tasty. (:

topped with cheese. (:

the result ! kena potong sebab adik and his friends tak sabar nak makan. =.="

ouch ouch. tak reti sangat nak buat lasagna nie sebenarnye. boleh sikit2 je. try banyak kali sampai betol2 expert baru orang bole panggil aku chef. LOL. =.=" I know , I'm LAME ! anywayssss , here are some pictures of my lasagna. ;) tengok je okay ? =P

result ! (:

Gosh ! I'm happy ! syukur Alhamdulillah. aku dapat result yang agak bangga laa jugak. not to say that it's good. but at least ada distinction. at first I thought that I would fail this one subject called Advertising Principles. why ? sebab aku masok kelas tu only ONCE je ! tu pon sebab nak kena buat presentation. class lain aku tak pernah masok. mana taknya. kelas tu daa laa pagi. aku pulak tinggal kat Cheras. kalau tak jam , it'll take me one hour to reach there ! kalau jam , erghhh ! Tuhan saja yang tahu. that's why aku tak pernah dapat masok kelas tu. thanks to Mr. Nurazry sebab sangat memahami. and thanks jugak sebab tak failkan saya. (: you're super nice laa Sir ! subject lain ada B and ada A. thanks to Mr. Hafizul , Mr. Nurazry , Miss Yen , and Miss Adriana for teaching us for the whole last semester ! I enjoyed your classes ! semua best. it's tiring though. but I had a great time dapat belajar dengan ALL of my favorite lecturers. I will never forget you guys ! you guys really ROCK my world ! thanks for everything ! ouhh. not to forget my best friend kat college , Kavita Maheendran@ MAK, Sangeta , Charan , Shamira Azlia , Asyikin , Joshua , Kevin and semua yang terlibat for helping me to get this great result ! love you guys so muchoo ! <3

my favorite collections. (:

my handbags. (: got some more in my wardrobe.

my favorite handbag. a REAL crocodile handbag from Nigeria.

 all this are from Vietnam.

and this are my perfumes collection. I got some more lagi but tak boleh upload. :(

to KAVITA MAHEENDRAN and MISS YEN. (: haha. this is for you both. <3

stress !

kena beli dress macam nie ke ? :/

I love the candle stand. maybe I'll put this on the lecturer's table.

and this one untok meja aku sorang. lol

okay. now memang sumpah stress ! baru je lepas event untok 'Stop Child Abuse' haritu. penat pon tak hilang lagi. now kena buat another event for SEGi's mass comm students pulak. Appreciation Nite Dinner. haha. and I'm in charge for decorations. the theme for that night is 'BLACK'. okay. this is hard for me because I have to think on how to decorate the hall according to the theme. black ? how ? haishh. I have some ideas in my head but I think that it's too simple. kalau boleh aku nak buat gempak sikit. I try to put some colors in it. I know the theme is DARK ! but kalau buat semua warna hitam pon tak cantik jugak. so , aku decide untok letak some red and pastel colors like light pink maybe. it will soften the dark colors kan ? baru laa ada warna sikit for that night. haishh. I'll discuss about this further with my girls and of course our leader. if dia tak suka then I have to re-do the floor plan and try buat warna lain. at least  80% of it MUST be black ! =.=" table arrangements ? Kavita cakap maybe boleh buat macam style Harry Potter tu. well , that would be nice kan ? nasib baik aku takde magic power. kalau tak daa lama aku nak buat macam style Harry Potter tu. 'flying candles'. haha. gempak giler laa shial ! what else ? the stage semua aku daa ada idea jugak. but still kena discuss dengan leader ! arghhhhh ! takotnyeeeee. :( GOOD LUCK ILANI !

my hometown and my grandma. :*

from left: my grandma , my younger brother and me. (:

my hometown is at Malacca. well known as Negeri Bersejarah. ye ke ? hahah. yes it is. loads of histories. old buildings , old graves , old museum , and most of all , old people. =P I talked about my beloved grandmother. she's one of the people that I love the most ! she's like my best friend. she understands me a lot rather than my mom. my mom tau membebel je. unlike my grandmother. she loves to laugh. just like me. she's thin and tall. and healthy. I think she is now in her 80's. err. sorry. I don't bother much about how old she is. she may looks old , but to me she's still young. sebab dia terlalu open-minded. my mom is not like that in any ways pon. I think my mom ikot my late grandpa punya perangai kot. my grandpa memang strict. tapi pendiam sikit. tak cakap banyak. kalau dia marah pon dia diam je. awwh. Imisshim. may God bless his soul. :'( ok. back to our topic. I'm so close with my grandma. I shared some of my secrets with her. and she'll be like 'ouh , lepas tu apa jadi ?' haha. cute je. she said that I'm her favorite granddaughter. I don't know why. hehe. but most of my aunts pon taw aku memang rapat dengan nenek aku. sampaikan ada certain things yang diorang tak berani nak bagitau kat nenek aku , diorang suroh aku yang cakapkan. hahaha. c'mon ! she won't even bite you. =.=" I know she won't. Iloveyou Grandma ! stay healthy. :*

my best Friend. :*

KHALIESAH BADRUDDIN or Chiko. she's the bestest girlfriend that I've ever had. the one that I can lean on when I'm sad or happy. I cry with her and laugh with her. to tell you the truth , we never act like any best friends in the world used to do. kitorang bukan jenis yang sweet-sweet nie. we talk craps. tak suka cakap pasal benda yang boring. and she always makes me laugh. I've known her since standard 6. I still remember she sat behind me. but we rarely talk. and lepastu , aku kena pindah kelas. tak sempat lagi kenal dia dengan rapat time tu. but , we met again masa form 4. same class. mula-mula memang tak rapat. tegor pon tak. but I still remember her. dia je yang tak ingat aku. God wants us to be friends. Best Friends ! so , yea. I started the conversation first I think. and lama-lama barula kitorang jadi rapat. well , as we all know. mana ada friendship yang smooth je kan ? mesti ada ups and downs dia. but we managed to handle that. if one of us ada yang terasa hati , kitorang just cakap je. takde maknanya nak simpan-simpan. Direct teros. that's one of the trick to keep your friendship kekal. Alhamdulillah. kitorang memang sangat rapat. aku ingat lagi masa zaman secondary school dulu. kitorang rajin bercakap. she'll always call me. pergi sekolah early in the morning , sampai je daa teros start bergossip. then dalam kelas cakap lagi. pastu balik sekolah sometimes she'll call me and cakap lagi. pastu jumpa kat tuisyen pulak. CAKAP lagi. balik dari tuisyen , dia akan call and guess what , CAKAP lagi. senang cerita , we talked 24/7. tak pernah berenggang. but that was then. I'm not saying that kitorang daa lost contact now. what I mean is , kitorang daa tak buat lagi daa benda macam tu. biasalaa , university student kan ? busy dengan assignment , tests , exams. but I really miss that old good times when we were both in the secondary school. dia ada minat dengan this one guy yang agak nerd kat dalam kelas. and aku pulak minat dengan laki yang suka buli aku. dudok sebelah aku je. haha. kalau aku dengan Chiko nak bergossip pon , bukan pasal orang lain. it's about the guys yang kitorang suka tu je. arghh ! rindunyeeee time tuu ! I know her well enough ! depan , belakang , kiri , kanan , luar , dalam , SEMUA ! kitorang ada je benda yang nak dikongsikan. haishh. sumpah aku sayang kau Chiko ! no matter what happens , I'll still love you and just to let you know walaupon aku tau kau daa tau , you're my Bestest Girlfriend ! saja je nak share benda nie. you're the best laa woman ! Iloveyou bestie ! <3

awwhh. (:

I LOVE HIM ! *lovestruck*

nightmare ! :(

Fisya (Pah) and me.

Farah and Chiko ! <3

Nisa and me.

oh GOD ! I hate this feeling ! kenapa aku selalu kena mimpi macam nie ? tak suka nyaaaaa ! pleaseeeee , leave me alone and let me enjoy my sweetdreams ! I hate you , nightmares ! I really am ! Chiko , Farah , Didie , Opie , Pah , Nisa , Tiqa : ILOVEYOU GIRLS SO MUCH ! I really do ! sayang korang sangat sangat sangat sangat!

happy mood ! (:

I'm happy ! tahap max punya happy nie ! at last , aku call jugak dia last night and at first memang sumpah takot giler babi ! but Thank God , he picked up the phone and we talked. ingatkan dia marah. turns out dia cakap dia ingatkan aku yang marah dia. awwhh. baby , I won't be mad at you. you're so special to me. and Iloveyousomuchoo ! nampak tak sweet nya aku ? hahahah. anyway , macam biasa at the end of the call , he'll always say this to me "Iloveyou , take care" heheheheh. Iloveyoutoo buddy ! you're my bestest boy-friend ever ! thank you for everything. <3